Everyone gives a gift to another person at some point in their life. I was doing it wrong until I discovered the right way to do it. Now I’m always surrounded by people who say, “Wow, you always seem to know how to give the perfect gift!” That statement is always followed by, “How do you do that?” So now, I’m going to share my secrets with anyone who is really interested in learning how to give the perfect gift.
First I’ll tell you what NOT to do. Don’t make the mistake of just getting any old gift card or giving cash. Giving a generic department store gift card or cash is just saying, “I really don’t want to give you anything, but I feel like I have to.” It’s better to give nothing at all.
If you really want to learn the art of giving the perfect gift, consider your motivation first. Are you looking for a gift for someone because you want it or because you feel you have to? Everyone has experienced a situation where you are supposed to give a gift, but you really don’t know who the gift is for or what to give. Usually people tend to throw money at these situations and believe me, the people who receive such gifts know this. This leads to a failure to win for all involved. My opinion is that this should be avoided at all costs, and the only way to avoid it is to change your motivation. Most of us don’t like to be told what to do. Once we want to do something, we usually can’t stop. So, the next time you want to give a gift, just decide that you want to give a gift. It’s so much easier to flip that little switch in your brain and choose to give rather than be forced to give.
Once you have enough motivation, you have to consider the occasion. Weddings, wedding gift-giving parties, anniversaries and baby showers require more specific gifts. Often, the recipient will sign up at one or more department stores or gift stores. The gifts they want to receive are listed, so you simply contact the person giving the gift and they will direct you to the perfect gift for that person for that occasion. Other occasions such as Christmas, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, “I love you” and “I’m sorry” gifts need more consideration.
The next step to consider is the relationship between you and the “recipient”. If you are an acquaintance, you will be giving less personal gifts than you would to a loved one. Perhaps you are in a budding relationship and this gift will determine your attitude toward the relationship. An unthought-out gift will say, “I’m really not that interested,” while a thought-out gift will say, “I really believe you are special and important to me and I want to be with you.” I’ve met a lot of people who need to learn this simple rule. Many relationships have ended simply because they misunderstood this principle, so consider carefully what feelings you want to express with this gift and act accordingly.
Now, since you are motivated and you know the occasion and what feelings you want to express, you must consider the person or people giving the gift. Monetarily speaking, some people don’t care about the value of the gift, so the more thoughtful you are about the gift, the more popular it will be. Another type of person uses $$$ to measure your love and sincerity. If you’re not sure what type of person to deal with, do some research and ask your friends and family for their opinions on which gift is right for that particular person.
Depending on the type of person you are giving the gift to, are you using time or money to show your thoughtfulness? If the recipient’s motivation is not $$$, perhaps a gift you make yourself or just a gift of time is most appropriate. Many months ago, a friend of mine from high school was getting married and I didn’t have much money, so I gave her my time. I took time out of my life (husband and 3 kids) to spend the entire wedding day helping her in any way I could. I could run errands, put out fires or just offer encouragement.
If the recipient is someone you care about but haven’t spent much time with, then just take a few minutes to think about the time you spent with them. What did they say? If you’ve visited their home, did you notice how they decorated it or did they collect anything in particular? Where do they like to buy their clothes? Do they have any particular foods they like to eat? Do they have a specific hobby or interest? What do they talk or vote about on Facebook or Twitter? When you find the answers to these questions, you will almost always find options to buy them things they will love, and they will know that you really thought of them and will always remember your thoughtfulness. One example I like to remember is last Christmas, when my daughter was shopping for a gift she called me about
