If you’ve been spending a lot of time online to learn more about how to give the perfect gift, you’ve probably realized by now that almost all of the discussion seems to revolve around the act of gift giving, around the idea of economics and money. And, rightly so, because almost all material things in this world involve spending.
To put your giving on the dollar sign is to miss out on one of the most wonderful and amazing journeys ever – the journey into self and self-control, in which you awaken others to their own awareness Self and give them an opportunity for self-mastery. Nothing compares to the knowledge and awareness of who a person is, what a person came here for, and why life happens the way it does. If you want to give someone the perfect gift, first try to seek wisdom and self mastery.
But who says you can’t continue to give those special gifts while learning something new? In fact, I stumbled upon an ancient framework that you can use to assess your level of creative loving-kindness by examining your gift-giving behavior. In a sense, this framework allows anyone to track her or his elevation to the highest level of love and generosity (i.e., the eighth level of giving). The foundation of the framework rests firmly on the notion that your value is not measured by what you do, who you know, who knows you, or what you have; rather, your value is measured by what, why, and how you give.
The Gift of Maimonides
The 12th century rabbi and philosopher Maimonides (Moses ben-Maimon, often denoted by the acronym Rambam, for Rabbi Moshe ben-Maimon) wrote about eight levels of giving in Mishneh Torah. He was one of the few philosophers who gave the world the perfect gift, and they knew how to give in a meaningful way.
Maimonides was obsessed with justice and righteousness (“sedaqah” in Hebrew). For him, giving and charity, whether on the economic ladder, are obligations and duties that you must fulfill. As you will see later, according to Maimonides, gift giving at the highest level is a million times better than mere philanthropy – because philanthropy is only non-compulsory, non-obligatory, and 100% voluntary giving.
The following list is my version of Maimonides’ eight levels of giving (also known as Maimonides’ ladder of charity), which he lists in chapter 10:7-14 of “Hilkhot Matanot Aniyim” (Laws on Giving to the Poor) in Mishneh Torah (a repetition of the Torah). Each level corresponds to a type of gift giving. The quoted text is from Danny Siegel’s English translation. The comments are mine – ignorant, if I may say so. What type of gift giver are you?
Eight Types of Gift Givers (based on Maimonides’ Ladder of Charity)
The poor gift giver. This is the lowest form of giving because it is based on compassion for those in need. Julie Salamon refers to this as the “degree of reluctance,” where the giver gives reluctantly. Isaac Klein’s translation of Maimonides’ Ladder of Charity calls it “frowning” gift-giving.
Few but willing to give gifts. In this kind of giving, you give willingly and cheerfully to the poor, but you don’t give enough.
Soliciting donors. This level is the penultimate level. When you give at this level, you give only after a needy person asks for it. In short, you don’t give without being asked.
Uninvited giver. You enter the level of the unsolicited giver the moment you give to the needy without being asked or before being asked. Julie Salamon points out that this level of giving can be embarrassing for the recipient.
A named giver gives to an unnamed recipient. This level of giving does not embarrass the recipient. You give to a poor person who knows you but you don’t know. In a sense, this is public giving. In Maimonides’ time and earlier, “the great sages used to tie the money in a [linen] sheet and throw it behind their backs, and the poor would come and take it without embarrassment.” You can also call this level the “stranger, come and get it” type of giving the perfect gift that won’t humiliate the person in need.
Anonymus Gift giver to a designated recipient. This is the case when the identity of the giver is intentionally hidden. You can call it a private donation. At this level, you help someone in need by providing him or her with the perfect gift, without revealing your identity. This usually leaves the recipient feeling happy, surprised and grateful for an unnamed benefactor. Maimonides recounts a practice from his time and earlier: “Great saints used to go secretly and throw money at the door of the poor.”
Mutual anonymity of the gift giver. This is the second highest level of gift-giving. When giving in mutual anonymity, the identity of you and the recipient of your gift remains confidential. Maimonides describes this as “a religious act realized for its own sake” and likens it to a contribution
